I’m slowly increasing the amount of time I spend with people, and the number of times that we pray together. My results-oriented mind keeps telling me that my numbers HAVE to be high, but I’ve had a cold for over a week and am just now getting back on track. I’m also wearing new shoes, and my feet hurt (I know it was dumb, but they’re tennis shoes! I thought those were supposed to be comfortable from the get-go!!). Quality over quantity is something I’m still working on. I’m learning more now than I ever have, even though I still haven’t “hit the max” with my visits. Taking notes from things other residents say helps; I realized on Wednesday, for example, that I’m missing an enormous opportunity for ministry when I simply go directly into my assigned units and bypass the peripherals.
I was on my way into the ICU to which I was assigned, and saw a group of four people sitting by the window in the enormous family waiting room outside the unit. Something compelled me to stop and ask how things are, and the patient’s mother gratefully opened up to me. She said prayer was what they needed most. He’s a young man in his mid-30s and they’d been up all night waiting for news. On my way through the unit, I stopped by his room, where his wife was communicating with him as best she could (he’s been intubated). His chart did not list a religious preference, and I thought to check with the wife because based on the name, I suspected that he was Catholic. She told me that he was, and when I asked if they would like the priest to visit, she was happy to say yes. After I made my rounds, I paged the priest and asked him to visit, and late in the day when I was leaving the unit from yet another visit, the mother told me how much they appreciated the priest having stopped by, and I relayed the news to him. None of this would have occurred if I hadn’t observed others, listened and altered my own behavior habits.
Late in the morning, I visited a patient in the postoperative ward to which I’m assigned; I like to see people who’ve not yet had a visit and this gentleman had been hospitalized nearly two weeks without seeing anyone from pastoral care. He asked me outright to pray with him, and we gripped hands tightly while we gave thanks. I’m getting more accustomed to opening up and admitting my unease over certain things; afterward I admitted that I’m hesitant to pray in public, and he said that for a non-prayer, I sure do a great job J At one point, a staff member came in to ask him some routine questions and he invited her to join us in prayer. Without hesitation, she said yes, and we all held hands in a prayer circle. Afterward, she addressed me by his wife’s name, having mistakenly assumed that I was the patient’s spouse rather than the chaplain. It was cause for a laugh among us, but I was made grateful again for being in a hospital where the staff is unafraid to express their spirituality.
The patient was unafraid as well; he referred to himself as a “dedicated Christian”. He’s in the hospital because someone attacked him, but he didn’t even want to discuss that. Instead, he spoke about life choices – specifically, the fact that after several false tries, he’s finally ceased smoking at age 65. He was able to get his 90-something mom to stop smoking as well, but too late: she’s been diagnosed with lung cancer and given a bleak outlook. Instead of being angry or despairing over that, he has an optimistic outlook that would put Little Orphan Annie to shame. He told me how grateful he was that I’d stopped by, and how much he’d needed to pray with someone – how much it mattered that someone cared enough to come in, talk with him and pray with him. In turn, I think that inspired him to ask a staff member for the first time to join us in prayer. He, too, observed others, listened and altered his behavior.
In total, I met with 13 people yesterday. The ideal daily goal is 20-25, but when I consider how much I’m learning from each encounter, taking the time to reflect on it in this manner, and taking the time to pray for the people I’ve met, I think I have to accept the reality that if I want to learn as best I can, the sheer numbers will be lower during this unit. The more I open up and feel comfortable sharing with people, the more I’ll be able to approach and the more opportunities I’ll have to learn, teach and help heal. Given the content of my visits yesterday, I’m more than satisfied with my numbers so far. The rest will come in its time.
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